Grief and Coronavirus

Like most of you, I’ve never experienced anything as unnerving as the current Covid-19 pandemic affects millions of people taking hundreds of thousands of lives. Normal lives are non-existent as we stay in our homes, wear face masks if we have to be out and don’t get close to anyone. At the same time, social unrest dominates the news as huge numbers of people march in protest while others riot as they loot, small and large businesses.

My heart aches for all who have to deal with personal tragedy. We can’t visit loved ones in hospitals or nursing homes.  People are alone as they face the fear of surgeries and the pain surrounding it. When someone dies, there is no gathering of friends and family at funerals or memorials services. The overwhelming sorrow must be faced alone except for phone calls and text messages.

These are not the same as personal contact and touching, but they offer the gift of knowing we are not alone in our grieving. Others care and can encourage us. “Zoom” groups provide a way of expressing our thoughts and feelings to others. They are proving to be very valuable resources.

Here are a few suggestions:
Write some notes and post them in your kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Begin the notes, “I will not always feel like I do right now.  This will pass.” Briefly jot down people and things for which you are thankful.

Acquiring a pet often brings comfort.

Remember, very little is reasonable about grief under any circumstances. There is nothing reasonable or fair about losing someone we love. Remember also that grief is the last act of love we have to give those who have died.

Write down a list of those you can call on the phone who will listen to you. You may want to call using FaceTime if both of you are open to it.

Mostly, remind yourself often that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not an oncoming freight train.

Peace, joy (and a virtual hug),
Bob Deits